Adoption Q&A

We've received a lot of questions the last couple of months since we announced to friends and family about Baby #3 (whom Aaron likes to refer to as McNugget), so I thought I would answer some here!


Why are you adopting?
I've answered this question so many times in our homestudy you would think I would have a quick clear answer...  In short?  We think adoption is rad.  There are over 140 million orphans who need a home.  We have a lot of love to give, so I think the question should be... Why not?


Why China?  Why Special Needs?
Long Story!  This will probably be my next post, so stay tuned!


Are you getting a boy or a girl? age?
As of right now, we are choosing a girl.  Our decision was not made lightly, but if we feel called to a certain boy then we have no problem changing the plan.  We are requesting Age 0-2.  At this time, birth order is important us. Keep in mind, our child will most likely be 12 months-24 months. China rarely adopts out younger than that, especially through the special needs program.  Why do they not adopt them out earlier?  There are reasons... some understood, some not. This is typical for international adoption though.

How long is this going to take?
The China special needs adoption process takes approx 12-18 months pending A LOT of things.  We are dealing with two governments and a lot of paperwork, so you can imagine how much we are NOT in control of this process.  We do know that God is in control, and that's enough for us (at least until my next freak out, which will probably happen by the end of the day.) 

Where are you at in the process?
I've added an adoption timeline on the side of the blog, so everyone can (somewhat) understand the process.  Right now, we are doing the homestudy.  We have 90 percent of our paperwork done for it, and we have our last meeting this Friday.  We are waiting for Texas to clear us, and that's the last piece of paperwork on our side.  We've had some ups and downs I'll detail later, but now we are praying about one specific thing.  I'll explain the whole Hague convention/adoption/regulations spiel later, but in short, our social worker has been approved for Hague certification but must have the final approval to be certified. We can NOT complete the home study without it.  She's been waiting on this documentation for a month now. 

 Not freaking out about this at all. Nope, not me.


How much is this going to cost?
The total cost will fall around $30,000.  This will include everything from agency fees, orphanage fees and gifts to workers, LOTS of paperwork carried back and forth between two countries, interpreters, guides, AND two weeks of travel to several different provinces in China.  Ironically, domestic adoptions can cost just as much as international ones, and they aren't even leaving the country!  For $30,000, an orphan gets to leave an institution, live in a warm house, have a full belly, and be welcomed into a family who will love and fight for him/her for the rest of their lives. It sounds like a bargain to me!

How are you planning on paying for the adoption?
 That's a good question, and we don't have the answers just yet. We have the health insurance and finances to take care of a third child, but pulling our child out of a China Orphanage is a huge expense. Right about now is when I was supposed to be making reservations for our big family Disney trip this year. I had saved for a couple of years, so we could take this vacation together with my parents and sister's family. After we felt the not-so-gentle nudge to adopt, we knew the Disney fund was meant to help bring our child home.  Disney money will get us through the home study, after that we are walking on faith.  We are hoping to do various fundraisers and a large garage sale. I'm also going to start applying for grants the day the home study is complete.

How can we help?
To the people who have asked us this question, THANK YOU. Seriously.  I don't have any specific dates for fundraisers and people are already donating items, money, and their time to help bring our child home. You people are AWESOME!  I'll list any needs and fundraisers on the blog when the time comes!  The most important thing we need is for everyone to be in prayer throughout our journey and to share in our excitement about our little 'McNugget'.  I honestly thought when we announced we were adopting, we would get the same reaction as when we announced we were pregnant.  I was expecting the usual 'Congratulations!' and 'How exciting!' 


This is when the adopting mamas out there shake their heads at me and say, 
'Bless Her Heart!'  

I was naive.

Some aren't fans of adoption. Others are not fans of us choosing China, much less through the Special Needs program.  They've clearly let their opinions known through their passive comments and silence. Aaron and I are adults, and we feel called to adopt from China.  We have done A LOT of research, and we did not make this decision lightly.  This might not have been the choice you would have made, but we aren't you.  We are VERY excited about bringing our third child home, so please be excited for us!  When we announced our news on Facebook, everyone's wonderful comments were overwhelming, and I must find a way to print those out so I can show the kids some day!  Camden and Caroline can't wait for their sibling!  Camden was the line leader at school today, which means he gets to bring a book for the teacher to read during snack time.  He was so excited to bring I Love You Like Crazy Cakes and tell everyone about his new China sibling.  The conversations with him about our China baby have been hilarious, so there is no telling what he is going to tell them today... or what the kids are going to go home and tell their parents!


Outside of our adoption questions, there is another one that keeps popping up...

When will you guys know if you are moving?

We don't know.
Aaron's rotation here in OK was supposed to be for two years, which meant he would be up for another job this month... but things got a little trickier last Fall.  Now ConocoPhillips is splitting in to two different companies, and right now Aaron is on the Phillips 66 side.   We don't know if we will be staying here in OK or moving back to Houston, and now we don't know when that decision will be made.  We also don't know where we would be living in Houston because Phillips 66 has yet to determine where its offices will be. Even if we moved back to Houston, we may not live in Katy (which would break this girl's heart) if Phillips 66 ends up on the other side of Houston.  . Do we want to move back to Texas?  If we can live in Katy, we are both 50/50 on staying/going.  We love both places for different reasons, so we are glad the decision is not really up to us. I'm not even going to think about Phillips 66 moving its offices away from the Katy area because just the thought of starting over AGAIN in a new city, new house, new church, etc. makes me want to crawl in to my bed and hide under the covers for a few months. Then there is also the adoption to think of because leaving states can cause a bit of disruption with the Immigration process.  If I start thinking about all the 'what-ifs' that this year will bring I will go crazy, so we are just going to sit and back and see what happens.  2012 could end up getting even crazier for us!